The focus of the month is called "Someone to Talk to" and I think the wording is very important. When we speak of communications, we say we "talk to" someone. It's very clear that there is a receiving party. It's a good point to reflect on this two-way exchange. Say, in a yoga class that I teach, if no one showed up, I would have nobody to talk to. But it's not only that. People may physically show up, but if no one is mentally present, if people are checking their nails or drinking water or looking at the ceiling while I give a talk, I would still have nobody to talk to.
Everyone wants to feel a connection with others. Everyone wants to be loved and wanted. But what not everyone realizes is that it is a two-way street to make it happen. In our relationships and friendships, do we often do the talking without attentive listening? Do we "talk at" people instead of "talk to" people? When others talk to us, do we give our full attention? Listening requires active participation. It means that when the other person is talking, we are (1) not already formulating our reply, (2) not comparing ourselves to them, and (3) not interrupting, among other things. Active listening means that we not only hear, but we listen. It means not only are we physically present, it means we also see this person lovingly while they are talking. We may be quiet but we project love and support and kindness. Only then is the communication one that espouses true connection. One of the tenets of Jivamukti Yoga is nada, which is deeply connected to listening. This is partly why Jivamukti yoga teachers do not demo the poses, so students learn to listen. This is why we often use music, so we use sound to enhance our message. It's not just background but it is part of the experience. Next time you practice, see if you can listen more deeply, pay more attention closely, and connect more wholeheartedly to the sounds that you hear. We learn to listen to sounds both internal and external, so that we can respond instead of react, and keep communications the two-way exchange that would benefit our relationships the most.
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March 2020
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