PYS I.2 Yogas Citta Vrtti Nirodhah
When you stop identifying with thoughts, fluctuations of mind, then there is Yoga, identity with Self, which is samadhi, happiness, bliss, ecstasy. The focus of the month is silence. And through Vipassana courses, I had experiences of being silent for 10 days at a time. In those spaces of silence, a lot can happen, and in no particular order, these are my personal breakthroughs: 1) While seated in what is supposedly deep meditation, I couldn’t stand myself. I hated that I was there and I wanted to run away. I wanted to escape. I asked myself why I subjected myself to such torture. I questioned what sitting with my physical aches and pains had to do with enlightenment. I decided at one point that I was going to be done with meditation, not outwardly because I didn’t want to appear like a quitter, but that I would go through the motions but I’m not buying into this whole meditation act anymore. As soon as I’m out of the course, I would be done. This breakthrough made me realize a few things: From what do I wish to run away? From whom do I want to escape? Why is it that I am so uncomfortable with myself? 2) Having decided I wasn’t really going to meditate— but that I was only going to pretend— I allowed my mind to wander far and wide, to wherever it wishes to go, uncontrolled and unguarded. And it did go to different places. At one point it landed at this place where I thought, I’m ready to let it all go. The anger that I felt, the grudges I still kept, the pain I harbored— what is the point of still carrying them? I could let it go and be free of it all. And I did just that. In that meditation hall, without having to call anyone I haven’t spoken to in years, without a confrontation or a conversation, I forgave everyone and everything. I started over, clean slate. 3) The last breakthrough happened only a split second, but it was distinct and unmistakeable. In the depth of the silence of not only the outside world but also of my internal landscape, it felt as though “I” disappeared and melted into everything else. There is that sense of oneness, that I am not separate from anything. This was something I experienced even before I encountered the yoga practice, before I knew about yoga sutras, and yet it is precisely the experience of Yogas Citta Vrtti Nirodhah. In your own practice, allow silence to take you places you haven’t explored before, perhaps to make peace with that part of you that wishes to run away, perhaps to find forgiveness, perhaps to catch a momentary glimpse of enlightenment.
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All of us have access to Satyam, Jñanam, Anandam, and Brahma— Truth, Knowledge, Bliss, Absolute.
We all can know the truth of who we are, use our intellectual capacity to understand, experience joy beyond conditions, and connect to that Divine quality of God within us and around us. But we do not often experience any of these, not because we can’t, but because we create barriers. When you stand in front a quiet lake, and the water is clear, you can see what is at the bottom of it all. But if the lake’s water is muddy, or there are strong winds that create ripples in the water, we can no longer see the bottom. Our mind is like that. When our mind is quiet, we can see the way to truth, knowledge, bliss, and absolute. When there are disturbances in our mind, we see nothing but those disturbances. We speak 16,000 words a day on the average. Now, when we think about it, how many of those words ground us in peace, and how many of those words create barriers between ourselves and our freedom? When we use words to lie, judge, gossip, complain, or criticize, what do you think the effect is on the lake that is our mind? Practice observing the habitual tendencies of your thoughts that lead to your speech— not to beat yourself up, but to understand the connection between the content of the mind and the peace (or the lack thereof) that you experience. It is the nature of the mind to think random thoughts, even negative thoughts. Use this as a tool for understanding. Step back to become a sakshi, the witness consciousness that watches things unfold. Allow the witness to observe the mind thinking thoughts. As the observer, you are able to let the ripples quiet down. Use silence too as a tool. When your thoughts stay at the level of thought, you can work on the observation at a thought level, minimizing any damage control that might be needed when negative thoughts are expressed in words. You nip it at the bud. Next time you catch yourself about to lie, judge, gossip, complain, or criticize, pause instead. Use silence. Allow the ripples of the mind to quiet down. It does not mean you become passive or apathetic. But it means you are conscious, deliberate, and intentional when you speak. Words are no longer just air-fillers, they are spoken with a clear purpose. Satyam, Jñanam, Anandam, and Brahma— Truth, Knowledge, Bliss, Absolute— will be made available to us eventually and inevitably, through consistent practice, when we no longer think we are our thoughts, and we begin to understand that we are that witness observing those thoughts The words Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu was written on a piece of paper by Swami Nirmalananda, and it was given to my teachers Sharon Gannon and David Life. This was how this mantra—which is now central to Jivamukti Yoga— was taught. It was written not because Swami Nirmalananda could not speak; it was because he was a mauni. He practiced noble silence. His silence, though, did not mean that he kept quiet about his opinions. On the contrary, he used his words in the form of typewritten letters to urge leaders and organizations to work towards peace. He was silent, but he was an activist. He did not use his physical voice, but he stood up just the same for the meek— humans and non-humans alike.
We ourselves may have at times experienced that speaking is not the most efficient way to communicate. We may have used the wrong words, or spoke with the wrong tone, or chosen the wrong timing. There may have been circumstances wherein we were better off silent, there may be even a pattern of behavior we wish to change. Can you observe the times when silence would have been a kinder choice? Perhaps you have a tendency to interrupt when something is speaking, or you habitually offer advice that is unsolicited, or your well-meaning feedback comes off as harsh criticism. What would happen if you chose silence instead? Silence does not mean we become passive. It does not mean we are complicit to harm. It means we choose carefully when and how to speak, so our words carry more weight when it truly matters. When our words are surrounded by spaciousness instead of clutter, then our voice will be heard. We speak not for the sake of speaking, but for the sake of liberation. Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu. May all beings everywhere be happy and free. And may the thoughts, words (and silence), and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all. |
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