There was a local disturbance that broke the news a few years ago. The residents heard sounds all night long that they didn’t quite understand, but they knew these were sounds of distress. It turns out that these were cries of grieving mothers.
Mothers love their babies. Even before the baby is born, she would have formed a bond with the baby in the womb for nine months. And when the baby is born, nature intended it to be so that what the baby needs can be provided by the mother for a while. And so, it is incredibly cruel to separate the baby from the mother. This month, we celebrated mother’s day. During occasions like this, we often think of mothers who get to be the mothers they wish to be for their children, mothers who get to see their children grow up, mothers who have the luxury of raising and caring for the children. We don’t often think of the mothers who are grieving, the mothers who through no choice of their own, have had their children taken away from them. Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu. May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and freedom for all. Today, offer your practice to all the mothers who are grieving, who need healing, who have experienced loss, and who are forgotten. One group of forgotten mothers, and the grieving mothers from which the report came about, are the severely abused mother cows of the dairy industry. They are forcefully impregnated, and for nine months, they carry their babies inside their wombs, just like human mothers. When their baby is born, they are taken away so their milk can be stolen and sold as products. One of two things can happen to the baby. If the baby were male, he would be killed right away to be sold as veal. If the baby were female, she would be part of the cycle of violence, forcefully impregnated just like her mother. The cycle repeats itself until such time that she can no longer get pregnant, and then she is discarded like a machine that is no longer useful. She is killed then. This is the dairy industry, an industry violent to mother cows. Each person’s actions have the power to either perpetuate this violence between mothers and their children, or to stop it. If we wish to stop the violence, all we need to do is be vegan. When it comes to a mother’s love, there is no distinction among different races or religions or backgrounds or species, as it is with a mother’s grief. There is no such thing as a Buddhist mother’s love being different from a Christian mother’s love, just as a human mother’s grief is no different from a cow mother’s grief. Love is Love. Motherhood is motherhood. Grief is grief. It knows no species. Let us not let mothers be forgotten. Let us not be the cause of babies being separated from their mothers. Let us choose kindness. Let us choose veganism.
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The yoga practice reminds us that everyone is our teacher, including our parents, especially our parents. And yet, many people continue to blame their parents for things said and done years or even decades ago. There’s almost a sense of entitlement— my father should’ve done this, my mother shouldn’t have done this, etc. We complain about the mistakes they’ve made, while continuing to make our own, which is dwelling in it and being unable to let it go. We hold on to anger and bitterness and resentment, thinking our parents have done us wrong, while holding ourselves captive, being completely blind to the fact that this troubled relationship can be fixed by our own actions. The physical presence of our parents is not necessary for us to shift this relationship. In fact, very little is required. All that is needed is an energetic shift by the way we see them. We sift through our confusion and find the love that we are bound to feel towards them. And then we will understand that any inability to be nurturing they’ve shown us is because of their own trauma, any pressure they’ve put upon us is a reflection of the pressure they’ve put upon themselves, and how they’ve treated us is how they have treated themselves. When we connect to that love, forgiveness is possible.
The first human being we have ever known is our mother, our first source of safety, our first teacher. There was a time that we are a mere part of her, and when we became our own person, we’ve forgotten that fact.
The yoga practice requires a lot of humility, as it teaches us to acknowledge that regardless of the kind of relationship we now have with our mother, she remains the person who was a first teacher to us. Mothers are given a “role” to play, and as with most roles, it comes with the burden of perfection. We’ve seen mothers portrayed as always loving, always nurturing, always having answers. That, however, is not always the case. Mothers too can lose their temper, they can be impatient, they can think of themselves over their children, they can be less than perfect. If we are stuck in seeing our mothers as only mothers, we may be disappointed because we will always continue to expect that she is perfect and fulfills all our needs. There is one gift we can give our mother— that is to see her as a soul who has taken on this incarnation as our mother. By seeing her as a soul in human form, we realize that our relationship with her is not limited to mother and child, we also start to see that we are two souls born in two bodies. With the perspective of seeing our mother as a soul, there is no need to push our impossible standards of perfection unto her; there is no need to expect that she will fulfill all our needs. Instead we see that she is a soul playing the role of our mother, and she plays this role well at times, and during the times that she falls short at her role, that is still okay because we see the soul in her. From soul to soul, we let go of the idea of what it is that we need her to do. Instead, from soul to soul, we wish for her liberation, her happiness, her freedom. Our mother is a mother is a person is an imperfect human being is a perfect soul. If You Think You're Enlightened, Go Spend a Week with Your Family. - Ram Dass
Our family dynamics can be quite a complicated one. Our relationships with our parents are the first relationships we’ve had, and they are perhaps distinct from other relationships in their sheer rawness, in the decades where drama has ensued, in the very fact that we are seen all throughout the different stages and phases and changes in our lives. We all have different relationships with our father. For some, we may have a nurturing relationship where we are shown early on that the world is a safe place. For others, the relationship may have been ridden with conflicts and difficulties. Regardless of our starting point, we can heal our relationship with our father, and we do this through own conscious actions. My own relationship with my father was a difficult one, and the yoga practice helped me with forgiveness and acceptance. Ultimately, it boiled down to seeing my father as a human being, just like me, who wasn’t perfect, and who was just trying the best that he can. I invite you to try this 3-step healing exercise: First, think of a particular situation wherein your father showed you he loved you. Remember as vividly as you can the words said, what transpired, what time of the day it was. How did the words or actions of your father make you feel? How did you see your father at this given time? Stay in this memory for a little while, and in your mind, tell your father these words: Thank you. See your father as someone who has this capacity to give and show love. See him as this person. Next, think of a memory wherein your father has said something or done something that hurt you. Remember what he said or did, and see it as though you are watching a movie, observing things as they unfold. Give yourself the space to feel the past hurt. Then also start to see that this person, your father, is the same person capable of making you feel safe. He hurt you not because he is a bad person. He hurt you because he is a human being, imperfect, flawed, and has his own issues he is dealing with. Through his hurt, you are hurt. If he could do better, he would have done better. But at that time, it was all he can do, and that meant you are hurt along the way. Notice if you are still carrying the anger or pain or disappointment of this past wound, and in your mind, tell your father: I forgive you. See your father as an imperfect human being who is struggling too. See him as this person. Lastly, think of a time wherein you have said or done something to hurt your father. Why were you reacting this way? Did you mean what you said or did at that time? Do you still mean it now? What were the underlying emotions behind your hurtful words and actions? How did he react? Notice how you may not be that different from your father, and this karmic relationship you have shows the push and pull of affection and separation. Then in your mind, tell your father: I am sorry. See how similar you are, how predictably human, how imperfect yet with the strength of spirit to carry on. See your father as someone just like you, and see yourself as just like your father. We may have this thinking in our minds that our lives may be different if only our relationship with our father is different. Consider this perspective. What if it is not by chance we are born into the families we are born into? What if it is through a divine design that our father is our father, so we could be each other’s teachers in this lifetime, teaching each other about love and compassion, patience and forgiveness, seeing both sameness and differences? See your father as your teacher, and with humility, kindness, and compassion, take the learnings from this relationship. There are no such things as coincidences. YS III.16 Parināma-traya-samyamād atita-anagata-jnānam
Knowledge of past and future arises by samyama on the three transformations. Through the present, which is the effect of the past, one can know accurately their past, which is the cause. By knowing their present, which is the cause of their future, one can know the future accurately. This is the infallable method of psychological analysis. If a person is suffering, they must have accumulated the causes of their misery and suffering. If a person is occupied in evil tendency, they will positively suffer in the future. - Shri Brahmananda Saraswati Have you ever been to a fortune teller? Had your tarot cards read? Consulted crystal balls? Many people have, as there is this fascination that someone can tell us the unknown in our future. The yoga sutras say that yogis have an ability to predict the future. Not only that, this power is more accessible to us than we may think. For us to predict our future, all that is needed is an honest look at our present reality. All our present thoughts, words, and actions are the very same seeds from which our future will grow. Yogic philosophy explains that all “karma” or actions have consequences. We cannot plant a mango seed and expect an avocado tree to grow. As far as karma is concerned, there is no judgment as to what is “good” and “bad”, just as a mango is not “better” than an avocado. All it is is the law of nature. There is no vindictiveness involved in the law of karma, only the logical conclusion that we reap what we sow. When we look at our past, we will also notice that we have planted the seeds from which our present sprung. The knowledge of being able to predict our future is empowering, because it means we are in control of our destiny. We are the drivers of our fate! Take the asana practice (the physical exercises of yoga) for example. If you see someone able to do a drop back easily, it is because this person has taken the actions in the past that led to this. The yogi has paid their dues, practiced long and hard, with commitment, to get to where they are today. It is not fair to compare the years they have put in with your own practice, especially when you are new. If it’s your first day to practice a drop back, naturally you will not have the ease of someone who’s been doing this for a much longer time. There is no sense in comparing. There is, however, a clarity in understanding that we each get to take action to build the future we wish. If a drop back is what we want in our future, then we do the practices starting today. If we then want a future where we are free and happy, we plant the seeds of freedom and happiness now, we make sure we don’t rob others of their freedom and happiness. The Jivamukti practice advocates veganism as part of a yogic lifestyle. From a karmic perspective, we can use the actions we take now to predict the future. If we consume a whole foods plant-based diet, we predict a future where our health and well-being is secure. If we consume animal products, we can easily predict a future ridden with diseases like hypertension, type 2 diabetes, and certain types of cancer. If we respect the lives and freedom of animals, we predict a future where we are at peace with our own lives. If we disregard the violence inflicted on animals, we can easily predict a future where our lives are filled with fear, anger, and tension. If we eat in a way that is light on carbon footprint, we can predict a future where the world can sustain the growing population. If we eat in a way that consumes far more resources than is necessary, we can most certainly predict a future where we will have problems with sustainability. The teachings of yoga are practical, in that we learn how to take the right action that leads us to the future of our wishes. There are no such things as coincidences. We simply have to pay attention and make the connections. We do not need fortune tellers and tarot cards to predict the future. We can do that all by ourselves, by using our own power, by taking our own conscious action. Yogis have the power of predicting the future because we have an understanding of how karma works. Plant the seeds today of what you wish to bear fruit tomorrow. Our culture worships and despises superheroes at the same time. We’ve created characters like Superman and Spider-Man and Batman and Catwoman and Wonderwoman etc, and these same characters have to disguise themselves not just for protection, but basically because they are considered freaks. Just look at Superman and how he has to be in his Clark Kent costume with the eyeglasses to hide his identity. So who knows, there may be superheroes amongst us hiding in their yoga outfits!
Before superheroes became popularized in pop culture, superpowers were already known in the yoga sutras. The yogi superpowers include the ability to change one’s weight, to be as heavy as an elephant or light as a feather; the ability to float or fly or levitate; the ability to be invisible and even walk through walls; and the ability to communicate telepathically and also peak into someone else’s mind. We’re not going to debate the proofs of these superpowers, not today anyway, but we’re going to look at how any power— superpower, supernatural power, everyday power, individual power, consumer power— can be used either for good or for evil. Whether it’s from yogic scripture or from superhero fiction, the same thread runs true. Both heroes and villains possess power, so it is not power itself that makes a superhero, but the right motivation. Power in the hands of someone intoxicated by power itself will lead to destruction. But power in the hands of somebody who is selfless will lead to the creation of a kinder world. There is a Buddhist practice of meditation called Tonglen, it is one where we take away the obstacles of others so that they may find joy. We do not need superpowers to practice this. But if we do have superpowers, having this intent will keep us on path. The truth is that everyone already has some amount of power in some way, and simply by starting a yoga practice and continuing this practice, all of us are planting seeds to gain superpowers. Every time we sit down to eat, we exert our power. We can use this power either to perpetuate the violence inflicted on animals and destroy our environment, or we can use this power to choose kindly and liberate other beings. The yogi path is to choose kindness and liberation whenever we can, and we always can. Any superpowers and potentials we may possess would mean nothing to the world if we were motivated by our own self-centered desires. So the yogi’s way is to be aligned in our connection with others, to use any power we have now and any power we will possess in the future for the happiness and freedom of others. When we use our powers this way, then we choose to take on the role of a hero instead of a villain. As it is stated in Patanjali’s yoga sutras III.38, te samadhav upasarga vyutthane siddhayah, when you give up the love of power, you attain the power of love. |
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