Aparigraha means non-greediness. And according to the yoga sutras, if we practice non-greediness, the benefit is that the meaning of our lives will be revealed to us. That is quite a promise, something all of us would appreciate. No more asking those questions about why we are here and what the purpose of living is. There would be clarity.
How, though, do we determine what greediness and non-greediness are when our baseline has been distorted so much? We live at this time where excess is the norm, consumption is at an all-time high, and materialism is rewarded. This is my own experience, and I believe the experience for many of us. I grew up in the city, and weekends meant shopping, family time meant going to the mall, traveling meant checking out the outlet stores available in that city. This has been our norm for so long that these days, Decluttering with Marie Kondo has become so popular. We are now catching up to the realization that we have too much, our possessions are far excessive, that we now have to cut down and declutter and make sense of the mess of it all. Now that we know we live in excess, where do we begin in the practice of aparigraha? Where do we even start? My teacher Sharon Gannon gives a simple but perhaps an unexpected piece of advice—feed the birds. What does feeding the birds have to do with practicing aparigraha? Well, it has to do with intention and mindset. When we are constantly accumulating things and thinking of our wants, we are living with the mindset of impoverishment, feeling that we do not have enough, and so we hoard to overcompensate, afraid of the safety of our future. But when we feed the birds, we turn this around. We shift our mindset, feeling safe that because we have enough and we are enough, we could turn our attention to others. We could afford to think of the welfare of others because our own future is safe and secure. We are sending out the message that we have enough, so we no longer have to worry about our own needs, we can tend to others. Why birds? Karmically, when we feed wild birds, we reclaim the wildness we have lost through the years. Our life of rules and dogma and living up to the expectations of others may have trapped us and prevented us from getting in touch with the meaning of our lives. When we reclaim our wildness, we become free to explore the world around us, our hearts and minds expand. And in that process, the purpose as to why we are here can be more easily revealed. We often forget, because of excess as our norm, that we already have enough, that we have in fact more than enough. Think of the conditions available to you right now that indicate you already have enough. Appreciate it. Be grateful for it. Find joy in it. And then aparigraha will not feel like an imposition of what you need to do. Rather, it becomes a natural progression. Because you have already enough, you are inclined to give to others, you are inclined to think of the benefit of others, you are inclined to become selfless. And anytime you are unsure about where to start, start simple: feed the birds.
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The story goes that there’s a group of frogs walking in the woods. Two of the frogs fell on a deep pit, and the other frogs looked down from where they stood, saw how deep the pit was, and they started yelling and screaming that it’s too deep and they should just give up. The two frogs jumped up and down, wanting to save their own lives. Still, the other frogs kept saying it was without hope, that they’re doomed, that they’re good as dead. This went on for some time. Eventually one of the frogs did give up. The other frog continued to jump until he jumped out of the pit. It turned out that the first frog was discouraged by the things he heard, and the second frog was deaf and didn’t hear any of it.
As we go through our everyday lives, we do not really know if the people we encounter are going through a tough time. Usually, they don’t share it with us. And the words we use to speak to them could either encourage or discourage them. That is why it is important to ask ourselves these three questions when we speak: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Perhaps there are times that our best course of action is to say nothing at all. When we ourselves are angered by something, or otherwise feel intense emotions at any given time, maybe it is best to practice silence instead of saying something we would later on regret. All of us have been recipients of unkind words, and we have ourselves experienced how damaging that can be, and that even as we forgive and let go, we cannot really forget. The yoga practice teaches us to pause in lieu of reacting without thinking. We can use this pause and apply it to our speech. When unsure, we can ask ourselves: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? And when the words we had intended to use do not pass this test, we consciously choose silence. And then, if someone happens to be in a deep pit, we refrain from causing harm, we avoid passing on to them our own negativity. It is the least we can do for those around us who are already suffering. |
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